A day in my life

A friend of mine who hasn’t had the *privaledge* of a baby yet asked what my life was like as a Mum who never wanted kids… here’s a day as me:
My day began at 01:30 when LM decided that scooting around his cot and shouting at his mobile were an excellent idea. A 15 minute feed and lots of rocking later he finally went back to sleep. 
7:15 – I get up and get myself ready for a trip to London for our nieces 5th birthday party. LM wakes up as I’m trying to do my make-up and shouts very loudly at a Rocket he can’t reach on his mobile. I go and get him to avoid waking the neighbours. 
7:40 – I continue to do my make-up with LM laying on my bed intently watching me. I smudge mascara all over my face when LM decides to laugh at Christ knows what. I remove all make-up and start again.
8:00 – I take LM downstairs and make hubby and I a cup of tea whilst preparing LMs breakfast. I have to rescue the cat from the baby twice.
8:15 – I feed said breakfast to LM. He shouts at me as I don’t shovel porridge in his gob quickly enough.
8:30 – I get LM changed and dressed, then prepare his bag for the day.
8:45 – I hoof down a croissant and scalding tea.
9:00 – we leave the house after filling the car with all the shit LM needs for the day.
11:40 – we arrive at the Sister in Laws house and unpack all the Shit that was packed into the car. LM is ceremoniously passed around Auntie, Uncle, Nanny, Grandpa and Brother in laws parents. I enjoy a coffee.
12:10 – I am handed a sandwich and get to have 2 mouthfuls before LM wants his lunch. I feed LM his lunch with 7 adults telling him he’s a good boy. LM smiles at the attention, spitting said lunch over my Desigual top.
12:45 – I wash up from LMs lunch and get roped in to do all of the washing up. LM is again passed around adults and told he’s beautiful (of course he is- I made him!)
13:00 – most adults leave to set up party. I am left in charge of LM, a 5 year old and a 2 year old to get them all ready for said party.
13:20 – LM has a milk feed and falls asleep on the boob. I stealthily dress him in his pram suit without waking him. Hubby arrives back to help with other kids.
13:30 – 15 minute walk across Waterloo to said party. I end up pushing the 2 year olds pushchair while hubby pushes LM. 2 year old appears to weigh double! How was that fair. Nibble on way too much party food as I don’t want it to be wasted. I love party food!
14:00 – 15:30 – party central. I get to play with random toddlers as my baby is played with and cooed at by every adult in the room. Not a fair swap! I also get roped into helping with party games. Yay. 
15:30 – walk back to Sister in Laws house to bundle us back into the car. We’re given some Christmas gifts from Nan, who forgot to give them to us at Xmas. 
16:00- we leave SILs house and realise we’ve left LMs water bottle at the party venue. Drive back to collect said water bottle as LM won’t drink from anything else (my boobs don’t count)
16:30 – we finally leave central London. LM whinges for 30 minutes so I feed him crisps (they are baby crisps – I’m not a twat)
17:15 – LM full on screams for 20 minutes as I can’t give him boob while we drive
17:35 – we stop at the next services and I feed LM in the back of the car while hubby runs in and gets us coffee. 
17:54 – we get back on the road. LM babbles in a milk drunk haze before falling asleep. I am super jealous.
18:55 – we arrive home and I realise LM has crisps stuck to his jeans
19:30 – I finally get to shower and get out of my filthy clothes. LM plays with hubby and cats.
20:00 – bath and bedtime feed for LM
20:45 – I head downstairs, starving after LM has nodded off. Eat half a bar of chocolate while waiting for hubby to arrive home with our fish and chips and watch the baby monitor praying LM doesn’t disturb me.
21:20 – hubby arrives home with the fish and chips from Ruddys in Gloucester and my God are they good! We eat our dinner and discuss how amazing our little man is.
22:30 – LM wakes up crying, hubby waits for me to go to him (of course he does). As soon as I sit in the chair in his room he falls back asleep, I wait for 10 minutes before putting him back in his cot.
22:45 – I get in to bed and try to sleep
22:55- a recovery truck arrived outside to pick up a broken down car. The lights and noise mean I can’t sleep 
23:30 – recovery truck leaves. I get back into bed
23:35 – LM wakes up crying for milk. I go and feed him. 
00:05 – he goes back to sleep and I finally get to go to sleep.
While reading this back I’ve realised that even though Hubby wasn’t at work for this day, he didn’t do much to help with LM. I’ve also realised that he never does. I think he’s got up with LM once overnight since he was born but that’s a rant for another day. 
He wonders why I never have energy for him any more… maybe he should read this post. 

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